Go Git Cha Momma

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the
city and they were in a mall for the first time in
their lives. The father and son were strolling around
while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost
everything they saw, but especially by two shiny,
silver walls that could move apart and then slide back
together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, what's at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator)
responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with
amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up
to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls
opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
room. The walls closed and the boy and his father
watched the small circular number above the walls
light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last
number and then the numbers began to light in the
reverse order.
Then the walls opened up again and a
gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young
woman, said quietly to his son,
"Boy..................go git cha Momma...............

Love you all Madie.

Subject: Redneck Security System

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used 14 - 16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

Anyways, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

Have a good Monday and believe it or not Friday will come again.
Love you all Madie.

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped
him on the shoulder.The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit
a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate
glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still
shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize
a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my
first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Hope all of you have a great weekend and I love you all. Madie

PLEASE READ CAREFULLY, HEED WARNING & FORWARD

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be
alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.
Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in
bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female
sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go
home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few
units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men
will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women
whom they would never normally be attracted.
After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly
what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that

"something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's
savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."
In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the
unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment
referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam
after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.
If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it,
there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your
shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.
For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

Love ya Madie

The daughter of a Soldier

Last week I was in Atlanta, Georgia attending a conference. While I was in the airport, returning
home, I heard several people behind me beginning to
clap and cheer. I immediately turned around and witnessed one of the greatest act's of
patriotism I have ever seen.

Moving through the terminal was a group of soldiers in
their camo's, as they began heading to their
gate everyone (well almost everyone) was abruptly to their
feet with their hands waving and cheering. When I saw
the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being
applauded and cheered for it hit me. I'm not alone. I'm not the only red blooded American who still loves this country and
supports our troops and their families.

Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for
these young unsung heroes who are putting their lives
on the line everyday for us so we can go to school,
work and home without fear or reprisal. Just when I
thought I could not be more proud of my country or of
our service men and women a young girl, not more than
6 or 7 years old, ran up to one of the male soldiers.
He kneel down and said "Hi," to the little girl then
she asked him if he would give something to her daddy
for her. The young soldier, he didn't look any older
than maybe 22 himself, said he would try and what did
she want to give to her daddy. Then suddenly the
little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him
the biggest hug she could muster and then kissed him
on the cheek.

The mother of the little girl, who said her daughters
name was Courtney, told the young soldier that her
husband was a Marine and had been in Iraq for 11
months now. As the mom was explaining how much her
daughter, Courtney, missed her father, the young
soldier began to tear up. When this temporarily single
mom was done explaining her situation, all of the
soldiers huddled together for a brief second. Then one
of the other servicemen pulled out a military looking
walkie-talkie. They started playing with the device
and talking back and forth on it.

After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier
walked back over to Courtney, bent down and said this
to her, "I spoke to your daddy and he told me to give
this to you." He then hugged this little girl that he
had just met and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He
finished by saying "your daddy told me to tell you
that he loves you more than anything and he is coming
home very soon."

The mom at this point was crying almost uncontrollably
and as the young soldier stood to his feet he saluted
Courtney and her mom. I was standing no more than 6
feet away from this entire event unfolded. As the
soldiers began to leave, heading towards their gate,
people resumed their applause. As I stood there
applauding and looked around, their were very few dry
eyes, including my own. That young soldier in one last
act of selflessness, turned around and blew a kiss to
Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek.

We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and
their families and thank God for them and their
sacrifices. At the end of the day, it's good to be an
American.God Bless them all!!!!!!!!

RED FRIDAYS ----- Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the "silent majority". We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions.

Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that.. Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar will wear something red.



By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers.



If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family. It will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once "silent" majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.
The first thing a soldier says when asked "What can we do to make things better for you?" is...We need your support and your prayers.
Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear something red every Friday.
THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED---- SO WEAR RED! --- MAY GOD HELP AMERICA TO BECOME ONE NATION, UNDER GOD.

HAVE A GREAT DAY. PLEASE BRING OUR TROOPS HOME.

MY FRIENDS HAVE A GREAT WEEK, Love you all. Madie