I wish you a day of ordinary miracles----

A fresh pot of coffee

you didn't make yourself.

An unexpected phone call

from an old friend.

Green stoplights on your

way to work or shop.

I wish you a day of

little things to rejoice in...

The fastest line at the grocery store.

A good sing along song on the radio.

Your keys right where you look.

I wish you a day of

happiness and perfection--

I wish you little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you the funny
feeling that the Lord is smiling on you, holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare.

I wish You a day of Peace,

Happiness and Joy.

Remember to Make the Time TODAY,

To do something Special

for a Total Stranger.

Have a TERRIFIC day! Love you and God bless you all, Madie

I can almost feel myself losing weight....by forwarding this to you!
You'll understand at the end.

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women.
Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be...
Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you.
Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans.
We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that
this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream,
"Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think:
"For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally
-- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "big" questions.
What is life? Why am I here?
How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.
We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when?
Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.
That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!
If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately.
(That's why I had to pass this on - I didn't want to risk deleting this.)

Have a good Day. Love ya all Madie

After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed ... "Lord, it's up to you, if you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was! God is so Good!"


HAPPY EASTER TO EVERYONE, I LOVE YOU, BIG HUG MADIE

>> FOXY LADY:
>> Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
>> 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"),
>> searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
>> Matching white shoes and
>> belt a plus.
>>
>>
>> LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
>> Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking
>> for someone to round out a six-unit plot.
>> Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
>>
>> SERENITY NOW:
>> I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and
>> meditation.
>> If you are the silent type, let's get together,
>> take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
>>
>> WINNING SMILE:
>> Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser
>> to share rare steaks,
>> corn on the cob and caramel candy.
>>
>> BEATLES OR STONES?
>> I still like to rock,
>> still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to
> play
>> the guitar.
>> If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen,
>> let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
>>
>> MEMORIES:
>> I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
>> If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads
>> together.
>>
>> MINT CONDITION:
>> Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair,
>> many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
>> Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
>>
>> Life is Good I hope for all my Friends too. Love Madie
>

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will

probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling

at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Have a nice day. Love you all my Friends. Big Hug Madie