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Same time next year


 Have A Great day
 

BAPTIST BATHROOM

A very proper lady began planning a week's camping vacation for her
and her Baptist Church group. She wrote to a campground for
reservations. She wanted to make sure that the campground was fully
equipped and modern, but could not bring herself to write the word
"toilet" in her letter. So, she decided on the old-fashioned term
"Bathroom Commode." Once written down she still was not
comfortable. Finally, she decided on the abbreviation "B.C." and
wrote, "Does your campground have its own "B.C.?"


When the campground owner received the letter, he could not figure
out what she meant by "B.C." He showed it to several of the
campers, one of whom suggested the lady was obviously referring to a
BaptistChurch since there was a letterhead on the paper, which
referred to a BaptistChurch.


Therefore, he sent this reply:

Dear Madam,
The B.C. is located nine miles from the campground in a beautiful
grove of trees. I admit it is quite a distance if you are in the
habit of going regularly. No doubt, you will be pleased to know that
it will seat 350 people at one time, and it is open on Tuesday,
Thursday, and Sunday of each week. Some folks like to take their
lunch and make a day of it. The acoustics are very good, so
everyone can hear even the quietest passages. It may interest you
to know that my daughter met her husband there.

We are also having a fund-raiser to purchase new seats, as the old
ones have holes in them.

Unfortunately, my wife is ill and has not been able to attend
regularly. It has been a good six months since she last went. It
pains her very much not to be able to go more often. As we grow
older, it seems to be more of an effort, especially in cold
weather. Perhaps I could accompany you the first time you go, sit
with you, and introduce you to all the other folks who will be
there.




Love You my Friends Madie
Posted by Madie at 10:50 AM - 6 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Wal-Mart
 

The Wal-Mart Cat

A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off
the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass.


She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to WAL-MART!

Why WAL-MART?

HELLOOOOOOOOO!

WALMART is the largest re-tailer in the world!!!



Love you all Madie
Posted by Madie at 11:36 AM - 15 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Another Monday Funny
 




A cocky U.S. Department of Agriculture representative stopped
at a farm and talked with an old farmer.
He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm."
The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field right over yonder."

The Agriculture representative said, "Mister, I have the authority
of the United States Government with me.

See this card? The card means I am allowed to go
WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land.

No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear?
Do you understand!"

The farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores.

Half an hour later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the
Agriculture Rep running for the fence and close behind was
the farmer's huge-horned prize bull. The bull was gaining on
the Agriculture Rep with every step.

The Rep was clearly terrified, so farmer immediately threw
down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out,

"Your card! Your card! Show him your card!"

Love you all Madie

Posted by Madie at 11:31 AM - 5 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Children!!!! Love them or don't have them
 




These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"
SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."
DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story . His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"
TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"
The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... This particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, " Mom, what is butt dust?"



Love You All Madie
Posted by Madie at 10:30 AM - 10 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Watch Out
 

I didn't check Snopes or Hoaxbusters
to see if this actually works or
if it's a scam or hoax.

'They' say:

If you ever get the sudden
urge to run around naked,
you should drink some
Windex first.
It'll keep you from streaking.


Have a Great Day, Love you all Madie


Posted by Madie at 11:13 AM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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